curiously hungry: Tommi's Burger Joint

After a few fellow instagramers shared their meals at Tommi’s, and after ruling out Meat Liquor for it being a supposed “tourist trap”, I decided to give this joint a visit. Solo. Disclaimer: This place is not for agoraphobics (as some family members suffer from this misdiagnosed social disease. If you think you’re claustrophobic check the definition again. Chances are you’re an agoraphobe) I took one look at the place from outside and took a deep breath. I noticed two things. The first one being, obviously, that the place was packed; and two, the diners were predominatly male. But enough sociology, time for a burger!

I made my way towards the till and placed my order. There are only 3 options. Beef burger, cheese burger, and steak burger (there is a difference). The staff are ridiculously friendly despite the number of customers they need to serve, and the heat in the kitchen (there were little red fans cooling them down. Ironic considering it was 0 degrees outside.) I made a general judgement, Icelanders are a nice bunch.

I couldn’t help but look around the room. A chewbacca poster, and the lovely lights on the ceiling caught my eye. The menu is written on pieces of cardboard (one claims that they have the ‘Offer of the Century’, there is a chalkboard with a message of happiness, and little fans’ works of art. Since the place is so small, and it being Friday night and all, expect to share a table with a few strangers. Very communal. There was an inaudible indie track playing in the background. This is a casual crowd. A chic crowd. An artistic crowd. It didn’t take long for the ‘clickty clack’ of YSL booties to come through the door. The Arab girls arrive to try Tommi’s for themselves. Much to their discomfort and apparent agoraphobia, they had their burgers to go. But that’s irrelevant.

And after quite a long wait for the food, (note to self: although they serve burgers, this is not a ‘fast’ food restaurant) this Arab girl was ready to feast! [Nice bald man delivered it himself, shouting my name halfway across the room until he got to me. I sat by the door. On a stool. Very New York dive.]

I took a few bites and decided to type on my iPhone note pad the following:

“Didn't care so much for iceberg lettuce, it decidedly cooled things down. Cold lettuce; not good.

I got some mustard towards the end which punched things up. There are more condiments than you can count on two hands lining the wall.

The meat was beautifully medium. What a tender patty! I’d call it miraculously tender. But I wish it was just about the patty. It's the accompaniments, it's the bun, it's the magic! The bun is alright, quite nice actually. It holds the patty brilliantly without slippage or sloppage. It's just the cheeeeeese. Just your average processed slice. Where is the mature Cheddar? Where is the Stilton or Emmental?? I guess what Tommi's tries to deliver is the authentic American burger. And in that case, processed cheese is right on the money, so I can't complain about that. I want food to take me on an adventure. This burger took me to Bikini Bottom, so this, Ladies and Gentlemen is the closest I've come to [what I think is] a krabby patty! Take that Mister Krabs!

The fries aren't homemade, they're your standard skinny fries, just seasoned really nicely. I almost didn’t order them but I did, for a sentence that has been popping in my mind frequently, "Do it for the blog!" “

If it weren’t for that cold piece of lettuce, and the choice (or lack thereof) of cheese, this burger probably would’ve surpassed Honest. But then again this is my opinion. Take from it what you will. The general concensus from the reviews of this place is that it is a hit with resident Londoners and conscientious (Middle Eastern) tourists like myself.

I'd better dust off my trainers, or this will be one gluttonous journey I might regret.

58 Marylebone Lane
Marylebone
London
W1U 2NX

Tel: 0207 935 5275

http://www.burgerjoint.co.uk/